But I'm Not "Sick" Enough For Recovery

I'm pretty sure that almost everybody with and eating disorder has said (or at least thought) this to themselves. We think that we aren't sick enough for recovery, as if there is some standardized test that will confirm you are sick enough to seek treatment. Let me tell you something right now: that's a load of crap. There is NO such thing as "sick" enough. It doesn't matter if you're 90 pounds or 190 pounds. If you have an eating disorder you are sick and you deserve help.

Your level of care needed may be different than someone else's. For example you may not need to go to a residential treatment facility. You may do better in a partial program or even outpatient. You may not have to have every meal monitored. You may not require medication. You may not be put on bed rest. Does that mean you're not sick? No. You know saying "All snowflakes are different?" Well, so are eating disorders. We develop them for different reasons, we use behaviors differently, and our RECOVERY and treatment will be different. The important thing is that you seek treatment.

Denial is usually our first response or defense mechanism. We think "I'm not skinny enough to get help" or "I only binge and purge x amount of times" or "I'll be the fattest one there." None of those statements are true. That is your eating disorder trying to convince you to stick with it. There is no criteria for being "sick enough." If you are sick then you are sick. Even look at the statistics: majority of those who suffer with Bulimia are either at a normal weight or are overweight. The DSM V also "no longer requires the patient’s weight for height to be less than 85% of that expected." Though weight is considered, it is not the only determinant for needed treatment.

I think that we use the excuse of not being "sick" enough because we are scared. The eating disorder has been a source of comfort. It's something we know how to do. It's something that is there for us to turn to when nothing or no one else is. So when you're thinking you're not sick enough, picture yourself in 1, 5, and 10 years if you continue to engage in your eating disorder. If you allow the eating disorder to control your mind and your life then you will never be "sick enough" for recovery. Don't let that faulty thinking control you.
Be brave. Advocate for yourself. And realize that you deserve recovery no matter what.